I'm on "vacation" today. It's not really an exciting event, just an extra day off I took before the end of the church year so that I wouldn't lose the day. I wound up working 1/2 of it. So goes a day in the life of a single minister. I was all excited to go for a swim this afternoon, and was actually really looking forward to it...but saw the gorgeous and clear Oregon sky...I had to get out.
I put on my jogging clothes and got Buster attached to his leash, and off we went. The first 1/2 went well - except I keep having to fight Buster pulling on my arm. The Dog Whisperer would not be impressed. 1/2 way through, though, I was ready to just be done.
I pushed myself to either 5 or 6 "running" sprints. I lost count, but - at least I did them!
I really wonder what my problem is. Yes, my back hurts - it's called having no core stomach muscles strong enough to counterbalance the weight. Yes, my knees hurt - it's called being so overweight each one of my ligaments has been doing overtime for over 2 decades! Yes, I run funny - it's called being so out of shape I look like I should be a contestant on the Biggest Loser.
None of those things are more difficult than fighting the negative thoughts in my brain: "Aimee, you can't do this. You'll never be able to do this. Just give up!" I do not know how I am going to fight off these dangerous thoughts. If they don't subside, I know I will eventually give into them. That is why I am writing these thoughts blog-style. So that, at least, I can hold myself accountable to being faithful in this journey.
Hey, at least today I ran. I might have looked more than a little stupid doing so, but at least I did it. I may not have done it well, and certainly not to perfection - but I did it.
And, today, that is something to be proud of!
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